I Missed It

If I had gone, I would've been the last one there...


So I guess I passed up the Midwest blogosphere meetup of the year. Chicago blogger Jenn told me to stop by Rebel in Wrigleyville, but I didn't end up going. Though I should have gone just to meet more people, I still hate that neighborhood. If there's any other mini-meetup, I'll do my best to get to that one.


Last Saturday was the going away party for my friend Bill. The funny thing is that while all the MKE people are saying goodbye, Bill and his gf are moving about 1.5 miles away from me, so that's cool. I was hoping to see the volleyball girl at the same bar just to see what would happen, but she didn't show up (nor did I call).

On the girl front, there's nothing in the near future. It's kind of tough to only pick one location (coffee shop) to say you'd be open to talking to girls. Though I haven't really seen many who I've been interested in lately, I still haven't spoken to any. I'll have to work on that.

So assuming I'll actually make an attempt when I see the next coffee shop girl, what other type of spot would also be acceptable?

Maybe I should've still gone

Through my free Nerve account (which I do next to nothing with), a free preview of the new Woody Allen/Larry David movie was offered. As a fan of both of them, I wanted to see it, but didn't really want to go to a movie alone (though it wouldn't be the first time). I pretty much asked all of the friends I regularly talk to in Chicago and they all said no or bailed. So instead I just worked out and then talked to the receptionist with the new boyfriend.

Have you ever gone to a movie alone? Usually I don't want to do so, but it's not a big deal. Kinda awkward to ask the clerk for 1 ticket, but hey, they don't care. And their job is a movie theatre clerk. So you've got that on them.

My friends met Larry David and I didn't

I generally have two groups of friends that rarely hang out together. Both are from Wisconsin, but different groups. Kumar's in one, while a guy named Bob is in another. I worked at a WI bar with Bob, so a lot of us meet up. On Saturday, each group was going to a different beach. Since Bob asked first, I went with him to North Ave. Beach. As expected, it was a good time, and now I'm really burnt. I met the boyfriend of one of the girls at the beach. He was a nice guy, but not as attractive as the girl (typical). So overall, our beachtime (and 44th floor rooftop swimming pool) was a good time.

Meanwhile, Kumar, Jay, and some other people went to a different beach. As I found out later, they ended up meeting Larry David on the street. Apparently he's pretty awesome, and now I'm jealous.

This weekend's nightlife wasn't filled with too much. Just dive bars and dance parties. As far as meeting girls goes, there isn't much of a story. I chatted up a skinny white girl who was wearing a Nas t shirt, but that's about it.

Last week I watched the movie Yes Man w/ Jim Carrey and Zooey Deschanel. It wasn't really good or anything, but generally entertaining and Zooey was cute as usual. It gave a pretty good general message to do what you want if you're the only one stopping yourself. I'll try to apply this to the whole thing I have with girls now. I guess if I'm pretty drunk at a bar it's not so tough to talk to someone, but I'm still a little hesitant about random places. I saw a cute girl at the grocery store today, but never said anything because it felt like I was ambushing her or something. Maybe none of it matters, though.

While I was at the beach with Bob and three girls who I've met once before, I tried to work on my conversation skills. I felt less pressure with them because they all had boyfriends, so it's not like I was trying to be smooth or anything. Since I had already met them, I also didn't have to be afraid to say anything introductory. I still had the problem of not knowing what to say as part of conversation. Would I proceed with more "getting to know you" questions? Or should I just say random things to them as I had to Bob? Keep in mind, I think I had already told about 5 horrible/boring stories to him that day, so it's not like I was keeping those gems for close friends.

Is that how it works, though? Don't try to "turn on the charm" and instead just talk to girls like you've been friends for years? And then just pick from whoever likes your conversation? or instead do you "be yourself" but just focus on not being really boring?

Quick Question

I'm not sure if you girls are aware of this, but there are generally two theories about trying to talk to girls we're into but don't know:

1) These girls get hit on all the time so you have to not look like a big tool or say the same things she's probably heard.

2) Most guys are too afraid to talk to girls so anything genuine you say should get a better-than-expected response.

Which one is actually true? Also, do you good looking girls out there actually know how attractive you are? I tend to avoid giving looks-related compliments because I assume these girls are pretty aware of their looks and don't need me sucking up.

Thanks in advance.

A Late Save

Pens Win!

Another weekend down. This one was pretty entertaining. Two friends in Streeterville had a house party for donations to a children's fund. As usual friends as well as strangers were there. Some people I didn't know were cool, while others were tools. One girl, from Minnesota, was pretty hot until she opened her mouth. Now I'm not sure what you think about race/gay/etc. jokes, but I generally think they can be funny. Mainly because the idea is destroy those very stereotypes, while hanging on to (sometimes, but not always) a little truth. For instance: I'm Asian, I majored in Math, and I just started to learn keyboard. That's a joke waiting to happen.

But back to the girl...She claimed that she can make gay jokes because her sister is a lesbian. Does it work that way? I'm thinking not. I know a Mexican guy and that doesn't give me a right to make Mexican joke, right? Weird, but whatever.
I also had a quick music conversations with a stranger who was a pretty nice guy. He mentioned that he really liked David Byrne's latest album, but he pronounced his last name as "Brynn," like Brynn-Mawr. Being that The Talking Heads are one of my favorite bands ever, I asked if he meant "Burn." He said that it was a common misconception about the pronunciation and he was right. I'm still thinking he's wrong; Can anyone verify?

Saturday was filled with disgusting rain until about 3pm, so I didn't do anything until my friend's birthday party. His party was at a bar in Streeterville, which I was definitely not excited about. I expected a lot of Affliction t shirts there. While I was pregaming at the apartment from the previous night, we were informed that the birthday boy was still throwing up from the previous night and wouldn't be going out. Even though I wanted to see him, this was an out for me. No birthday boy means I don't have to go to the bar. So I called some other friends and headed to (coincidentally) a different birthday party. The rest of the night was filled with booze and a jelly bean tray (and Michael Jackson).

It wouldn't be a YFW blog post if I didn't mention my dating anxiety. I sat across from a girl at the coffee shop I visit. I thought she looked a bit like Shannyn Sossamon, who I've liked since The Rules of Attraction. Though we were about 10 feet away from eachother, she never seemed to look up at me. I was hoping to make some eye contact, but it never happened. Next, I thought that I could start the conversation by saying I thought she looked like SS, or asking her what she was reading. Instead, I didn't do anything and left.
So two questions:

1) What would you have done (or thought was least weird if you're a girl)?
2) My friend said I should say anything because girls generally just like attention. Though this might help me gain a little confidence about the situation (currently I feel like I'm bothering everyone), how true is this?

You Snooze, You Lose

At what point do you get sick of missing out on potential dates? I feel like I identify girls who I'd like to potentially ask out, but I never do and they end up meeting someone else. I think that I let this happen on purpose so I don't risk rejection.

So far, no one has given me any suggestions for what to say to girls. it looks like I may go into the weekend without anything (though I'm still open...). It's also possible that I'm focusing on being funny/interesting too much. Instead, maybe I should just have a lot of boring conversations with girls and find the one who I connect with. The only thing about that is that I run the risk of being a boring conversationalist.

What do you think? Should I work on not being boring or should I not change anything and just try with more girls?

Last Weekend I Broke Into a Car

Well.....it was my friends....and he was there...because he locked his keys in it. Surprisingly, it's really easy to break into cars with power locks, assuming they don't have super security alarms. We just looked up a YouTube video and had it open within minutes. Saved my bud some money, but kind of scary at the same time with street parking, right?

So the last week hasn't been super eventful, but still fun. Friday and Saturday nights were standard drinking night, but gladly I didn't have too much since I had to work out the next day. On Sunday, Kumar, Jay, and I went to a big book sale, which was really cool. Among books, this fair had other "hobbyish" stuff to sell like comic books, posters, maps, and celebrity autographs. The autograph books were robust, to say the least. It makes you wonder who really wants a James Woods or Greg Kinnear autographed glossy...

Last night was pretty awesome, though. St. Vincent played a free show at Millennium Park, which was great. I'm pretty pumped for all the music happening this summer in Chicago. I got my Pitchfork ticket in the mail yesterday and just ordered my Malkmus ticket for next month.

Since I haven't tried to meet any girls or asked any out in what seems forever (I think it was March?), I want to try something new/potentially pathetic. If you reader's haven't caught on, I have no idea what I'm doing when trying to meet girls. Instead, why don't you tell me what I should say? It'll be kind of like an experiment where we'll build it little by little. You tell me something to say (that's not totally embarrassing), and I'll do my best to try it with girls I'd like to talk to. I'll report back, and if it seems good, maybe we'll try something else.

I have no idea what this will turn into, or even if I'll get any responses, but first thing's first: What do I initially say? Like I said before, you tell me to say it, and I'll do it. All I need is the first thing, and then I'll probably stumble through the conversation until I get back to you.

thanks

YFW