So I didn't manage to not drink over the weekend at all, but I did manage to stay sober. I guess that counts for something. Last weekend was much needed. Friday was pretty low key, as a few friends and I went to some UK Village bars. One friend brought along a seemingly great girl. I say "seemingly" only because I don't know her too well. Thankfully, she was from out of town and I didn't ask for her number. I didn't find out until the next day that I probably wouldn't be the type of guy she'd go for, but that's okay. Her general love of music was almost intimidating. Take the years that I began to like certain "obscure" bands, then subtract two. That's when she got into them.
I also met a homeless man with a pretty good attitude. His name was Carl. Even though he placed a lot of faith in God (which I don't), he was determined to keep a smile and learn from his mistakes. I had always known that there are millions of people out there who had worse situations than me, but Carl drove it home. It was during my wait for the bus that I knew that I needed to quit being so negative about things. I hope it lasts.
On Saturday, a friend from out of town came. Even though I don't think I ever had a real conversation with him before then, I invited him over to hang out for a few hours. It turns out that he's a really good kid and has a great outlook on his life. I could use more of those people around. I'm sure we'll keep talking and he'll do well (despite his lack of knowledge of being able to align his goals with the current financial system).
I think I want to find a new job, but I'm not quite sure. I think about a lot of the more negative aspects of my job and the fact that they aren't challenging. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ignoring the difficult parts because I'm afraid I can't complete them. Nevertheless, I'd like to get into something different. Ideally, I'd stay in Chicago and find something better, but who knows. If I moved, I think I'd need pretty substantial compensation, which might not come. I guess we'll see about that one.
I'm beginning to become less attracted to Jane at work (which is good), but I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I know she would never be attracted to me. Either way, I guess it works. I'd like to think that if I switched jobs I would ask her on a date, but that's doubtful. I think that any girl I talk to about dating issues subconsciously joins a club of girls who would never be attracted to me. For the most part, it's fine with me. The problem is that I tend to get to know a lot of these girls better and sometimes become re-attracted. Who knows though?
As usual, I talked to the gym employee (who I'll call Casey) who I wanted to ask on a date today, along with her friend/coworker. Casey was looking exceptionally cute, but I would be more than happy to simply be friends with her and meet up every so often. I did the whole Facebook thing where I sent a message saying this and sending my number, but I don't expect her to ever mention it. As her coworker is very nice, I think it'd be pretty strange to ask her on a date instead, considering that she's the one I inquired about Casey to. Probably should skip that too. I think there's a good chance that I'm one of the worst people at picking up on if someone is interested or not. Usually I assume "no" and forget about it. But it seems like every time I think "yes," it was still a no. Maybe if I go out this weekend I'll have the balls to say something to another girl. I'm just never sure what to say. Maybe if I had some type of flow chart, it would be easier.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
My Daily Hour of Happiness
I can never really tell how I'm going to feel throughout the day, but I know that once I go to the gym, I feel a little better. I know, that's probably the biggest douchebag thing someone could say, but for me it's true. When I'm there, I can just focus on bettering myself. I like that I know it's working, too. I don't really get that feeling in anything else I do lately. At work it's just "more work;" With girls I'm always analyzing what I might have done wrong, so there's no constructive aspect to it.
When I work out, there's pretty much a formula I follow. Follow it, and you improve. You can even screw up a lot of it, but still get better. I wish more things in life were this way.
I guess the one downside to being at the gym a lot is I have to see the one girl I asked on a date out of the blue. She was friendly enough to say she had a boyfriend, but I haven't heard her say a word since.
A friend told me that I should try to meet girls in situations that would produce more girls I'd be interested in. Since only high schoolers go to math competitions, the gym is all I've got. The main problem with that is that you can't just walk around and ask every girl you find attractive on a date because
1: That would be a lot of girls. My gym seems pretty stacked
2: I'm sure you'd quickly become the gym sleazeball talking to all the girls.
So yet again, I've kind of called off asking any girls from the gym on dates. After recently completely reading a desk employee's friendliness wrong, that's pretty much shut me off to any employee also. I have to keep remembering that they're paid to be nice to me, but I always figure that there's no other chance for me to see them.
But as the day gets bad, at least I know I'll feel better for at least an hour that evening.
When I work out, there's pretty much a formula I follow. Follow it, and you improve. You can even screw up a lot of it, but still get better. I wish more things in life were this way.
I guess the one downside to being at the gym a lot is I have to see the one girl I asked on a date out of the blue. She was friendly enough to say she had a boyfriend, but I haven't heard her say a word since.
A friend told me that I should try to meet girls in situations that would produce more girls I'd be interested in. Since only high schoolers go to math competitions, the gym is all I've got. The main problem with that is that you can't just walk around and ask every girl you find attractive on a date because
1: That would be a lot of girls. My gym seems pretty stacked
2: I'm sure you'd quickly become the gym sleazeball talking to all the girls.
So yet again, I've kind of called off asking any girls from the gym on dates. After recently completely reading a desk employee's friendliness wrong, that's pretty much shut me off to any employee also. I have to keep remembering that they're paid to be nice to me, but I always figure that there's no other chance for me to see them.
But as the day gets bad, at least I know I'll feel better for at least an hour that evening.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The First of Many?
So this is it...blog...Who takes a compound word and then shortens it so it starts with the last letter of the first word? You don't turn homework into "ework." But I guess no one calls it h-work either.
As for the name, I should let you know that it has nothing to do with Frank Lloyd Wright, but more to do with the illest rapper ever, the Notorious BIG. Sidenote: I heard there were multiple stabbings at the Notorious afterparty. looks like 1995 is back.
But let's see...There's Christopher Walken in King of New York as Frank White:
There's Biggie, the Black Frank White:
And myself, the new, less gangster Yellow Frank White:
Not as threatening
I guess the main reasons to follow this blog would be to see how my dating life is going (currently non-existent) as well as any other randomness.
My friend from work, who I'll call Jane, also has a blog and mentioned that they can be good to have. Since I have a mild crush on Jane, here I am. I said that my blog would be mostly complaining and talking about my boring nightlife, but she responded that that's what they all are. So here goes...
I've decided not to tell any of my friends what my blog is so I can write whatever I want.
Currently I have a yuppie job at a company that's tanking (but who doesn't?). Even though my strong work ethic (because of that asian upbringing) led me to believe that my job would be good and I could enjoy it, it sucks. I look at the the three jobs above mine, and they all suck too. It's all easy work that isn't stimulating. And what isn't easy is damn near impossible. So there's that whole job market thing I have to start with again. I'm armed with my one full year of experience and that's it.
As for the dating life, there's definitely room for improvement. My levels of cynicism seem unmatched (though they're probably no worse than others'): I'm boring when I talk to girls, nervous, *cough*virgin*cough* (now I really hope none of my friends see this), and I don't think I've been on a date since...2006.
But what do you say? Keep asking? Keep trying? That's the tough part. Having confidence in dating after being shut down numerous times is like A-Rod turning into Mr. October, pretty hard/unlikely. I wanted my New Year's Resolution to be to talk to a girl every week (usually weekends). So far I haven't talked to anyone. Damn that low self-esteem. I don't know about any of the male readers, but as a competitive person, I always think there's probably someone smarter/better looking/savvier than myself. I guess I have my work cut out for me.
And as for Jane from work, she's smart, pretty, and has a lot of similar interests. Except for the mutual interest. Am I the only one who knows girls who often say that it should be easy for a person like myself (and yourself) to get a date, but would never do it themselves?
Well, hopefully the coming days and weekend will be better. But I need to figure out how to enjoy my time without drinking. I decided to quit today because it wasn't so good for the depression part.
YFW
As for the name, I should let you know that it has nothing to do with Frank Lloyd Wright, but more to do with the illest rapper ever, the Notorious BIG. Sidenote: I heard there were multiple stabbings at the Notorious afterparty. looks like 1995 is back.
But let's see...There's Christopher Walken in King of New York as Frank White:
There's Biggie, the Black Frank White:
And myself, the new, less gangster Yellow Frank White:
Not as threatening
I guess the main reasons to follow this blog would be to see how my dating life is going (currently non-existent) as well as any other randomness.
My friend from work, who I'll call Jane, also has a blog and mentioned that they can be good to have. Since I have a mild crush on Jane, here I am. I said that my blog would be mostly complaining and talking about my boring nightlife, but she responded that that's what they all are. So here goes...
I've decided not to tell any of my friends what my blog is so I can write whatever I want.
Currently I have a yuppie job at a company that's tanking (but who doesn't?). Even though my strong work ethic (because of that asian upbringing) led me to believe that my job would be good and I could enjoy it, it sucks. I look at the the three jobs above mine, and they all suck too. It's all easy work that isn't stimulating. And what isn't easy is damn near impossible. So there's that whole job market thing I have to start with again. I'm armed with my one full year of experience and that's it.
As for the dating life, there's definitely room for improvement. My levels of cynicism seem unmatched (though they're probably no worse than others'): I'm boring when I talk to girls, nervous, *cough*virgin*cough* (now I really hope none of my friends see this), and I don't think I've been on a date since...2006.
But what do you say? Keep asking? Keep trying? That's the tough part. Having confidence in dating after being shut down numerous times is like A-Rod turning into Mr. October, pretty hard/unlikely. I wanted my New Year's Resolution to be to talk to a girl every week (usually weekends). So far I haven't talked to anyone. Damn that low self-esteem. I don't know about any of the male readers, but as a competitive person, I always think there's probably someone smarter/better looking/savvier than myself. I guess I have my work cut out for me.
And as for Jane from work, she's smart, pretty, and has a lot of similar interests. Except for the mutual interest. Am I the only one who knows girls who often say that it should be easy for a person like myself (and yourself) to get a date, but would never do it themselves?
Well, hopefully the coming days and weekend will be better. But I need to figure out how to enjoy my time without drinking. I decided to quit today because it wasn't so good for the depression part.
YFW
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