Am I Making a Mistake?

"I immediately regret this decision." or Do I?


Today I called Heidi. It had been over a week since I last called, and I'm attracted to her enough that I wanted to see what would happen.

Now in reference to my last post, you may think "I thought you deleted her number." Well, kind of. I deleted the contact, but there were still some text messages lingering around. So like the sap I am, I dug through the history to find her number.

Heidi answered, and after I gave an awkward sounding "So...How've you been?" she said that she got in a fight with a friend; Hence, no volunteering appearance. I think she was trying to insinuate that's why she didn't call back for 10 days also. Heidi threw in a quick "I was actually thinking about you today, and about calling to get a drink." I'm not sure how true this is. Could she just be asking me because she knew that's exactly what I was calling for?

So we're going to grab a drink on Thursday. I'm hoping that I'm wrong about her, and Heidi had a good reason not to call back. I won't find out until then, I guess. I just know that I definitely won't be trying to kiss her this time.

What do you think? Should I just meet up with her this once, but try to forget about her because she should have gotten back to me? Or should I give it a chance with a girl I have feelings for?

Compatibility

Lately, I've been having a hard time meeting a girl who I'm compatible with. Concerning the girls I've taken on dates, either there wasn't much chemistry, or I was blindsided by their non-interest (Heidi).

I've probably gone on more dates in the last month than I have for my entire life (quick check: True). So this is a bit more rejection than I'm used to. Now I get the feeling that no matter how much I may have in common with someone, I'll still just be viewed as their Platonic friend.

For instance, my roommate had a good female friend visit for the weekend. Coincidentally, she has the same name as Heidi, so she'll be Heidi2. I didn't end up going out at night with them, but the three of us did some hanging out in the apartment. I understand that there's no formula for true compatibility, but our common interests ranged from the broad (surfing & photography) to the obscure (fans of Le Tigre and the Modern Lovers). No matter what, I can't picture Heidi2 thinking of me more than some goofy friend. Granted, this is a broad generalization, but it gets difficult when it's not question of compatibility, but it's something I'm doing.

In addition to the recent complaining, I decided to start deleting all the numbers of girls who've stopped calling me back. There went Sevilla, Heidi, Dana, and others. At least I won't send any embarrassing late night texts.
I was hoping Dana would come through, but it doesn't look like it'll happen. After calling twice with no response, she sent over a text message asking my weekend plans. I mentioned that my friend Rob was having a party and said she and her sister could come if they wanted. She said, "Sure," and that she would call. Didn't happen, though the party was still a good time. So now that I don't have her number, I can't appear too pathetic by bothering her. She has mine, so if she wants, she can make the call.

In other news, I watched the move The Brothers Bloom this weekend (on DVD). It stars Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, and Rachel Weisz. It's about two brothers who are con men, and Weisz is the latest/last mark. I don't think the movie got a lot of press this last year because it's another indie flick, but it was really enjoyable. If you're bored roaming around the video store or on Netflix, check that one out.


So what do you think about this whole business of deleting numbers from your phone? Do you think it's necessary or juvenile? I'm not sure at times, and I think I've had to get people's phone numbers a second time. Usually I make up some excuse like I got a new phone. Holding back on contacting people can be hard.


Oh yeah, I saw the Walkmen (a sweet rock band) at Lincoln Hall on Friday. Easily the best sounding venue I've been to so far. The show was great, as I went with Kumar and Jay. Too bad it's located in the cesspool that is Lincoln Park...

2 Days?

Over the weekend, I didn't hear from Heidi at all even though I called her on both days. Usually I would think that would be too much, but she typically returned my calls on the same day. I had just asked a friend how long she thought I should let a phone call go unreturned. She said two days. That's it? Is that the general concensus? It just seems so short. I was just beginning to like this girl and now I get to find out that she's not interested in me. Is this how dating is supposed to be? I've gone one two dates with the last few girls I've met and now they've fallen off the radar.

That leaves one left.
I don't think I ever wrote about it, but a few months ago I went to a friend's birthday party/drinkathon. Near the end of the party I chatted up a short girl with big bangs. I'll call her Dana. Unfortunately I drank too much and forgot to ask for her number, or so I thought.
Over the weekend, I added her on Facebook (yeah, I know), and asked if she'd want to meet up some time. No response. Not a huge deal, just another pretty cute girl.
Then comes last weekend when I got a call from the birthday friend (Kyle) telling me to go to a party in my neighborhood.
Well what do you know? It's Dana's apartment. And it's a Tom Selleck party, moustaches everywhere.
After saying hello, I kept the chatter to a minimum since I was still embarrassed about being the drunk guy hitting on her last time.
Near the end of the party, people were starting to get to some bars. Kyle went home with his girlfriend, so I thought it'd be a good idea to go home also.
As I was leaving, I decided to ask for Dana's number. I said "Dana, I'm just going to say it: I think you're really cute. Could I give you a call some time?" To which she replied "Um...you already have my number. And I have yours. See? I'll call you right now." What??? Is this for real? I was that drunk?

10 seconds later, my phone is ringing. Phone number's tagged as "[Someone not named Dana] Kyle's Friend." So apparently I've been sitting on Dana's phone number for two months without knowing it.

So that's the scenario. I'll try calling tomorrow to see if she wants to grab a drink. If not (meaning she lets the phone go to voicemail and doesn't call back), then I'm back to nothing.

What do you think about the Two Days guideline? Is that a reasonable amount of time to give someone to call back? Personally, I return calls that day if I'm interested and it's not too late. What about you?

Totally Confused

Me + Heidi?


Remember Heidi? Yeah, the cute, super smart girl I met a few weeks ago. So I've been thinking that she's at least a little interested. Reasons being she calls me back and laughs at my stupid jokes.

Well now I'm not so sure. This evening I went to see a movie with Heidi. Let's just say the movie was awful, but it made for a fun situation. We were literally the only two people in the room, so we could talk and do whatever we wanted.

I got dropped off at the theater so Heidi gave me a ride home. While being dropped off, I felt like it was a good idea to go for a kiss. Well let me tell you, it wasn't. Instead of the sweet goodbye kiss that one would expect, I would say that about 10% of our lips met and 90% of mine were on her cheek....again. I don't think it was any mutual awkwardness that led to the mix-up.

So that leads me to my wondering. Does Heidi just want a male friend who she thinks is funny? Who maybe does random weird cheek kisses?

What do you think? Is this logical thinking at all? I'm really interested in Heidi, so I have no idea what to do now. I know that I shouldn't tell girls that I like them, but now I'm at a loss. I thought that trying to kiss her would send the message that I'm interested. Apparently not. Maybe I should go back to 4th grade check boxes

Waiting on the Next

I can't get Heidi out of my head. Is that weird? I've only seen her twice, but there's something about her that I really like.

I took off of work on Friday mainly to relax, but I also hoped that Heidi would be free to meet up during the day. While trading voicemails, she said that she was feeling "under the weather." While I believed her, the phrase seemed stock. On the upside, Heidi suggested Monday instead, which I obviously agreed to. I left a message on Sunday to confirm plans, assuming she'd call back that night. Today, Heidi called about the date. It turns out that she has the flu. Heidi suggested that we meet Thursday instead.

So that's the tentative plan. For right now I'm just afraid that I may call or text too often. I don't want her to feel all awkward if she realizes that I'm much more interested in her than she is in me.

What is the balance like in relationships you've been in? Are you usually the more interested one or is he/she? Is it balanced?