Not too much happened this weekend outside of a solid amount of drinking. Both Friday and Saturday consisted of drinking at my friend Elmer's apartment in Ukrainian Village and then going out to bars afterward. As standard as that sounds, I still had a good time. On Friday night we had an interesting, albeit short, conversation with a hipster girl:
(after about 2 minutes of randomness)
HG: So I just moved here...
Us: From where?
HG: New York...Brooklyn...Williamsburg...
Elmer: But you're not from New York, are you?
HG: No...
Elmer: I bet you're from Topeka Kansas
HG: Haha fuck you..
Elmer: But really, where are you from?
HG: Missouri...
Nothing against Missouri, but the Midwest to W'burg Exodus has gotten pretty ridiculous over the last few years. Granted, if I moved to NYC, it would probably be somewhere in Brooklyn, but it's still excessive.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Let's Try This Again
Over the past week or so, I've decided to take a crack at not being such a downer. The catalyst for this thought is the fact that I can't afford therapy, so I need to do something. My plan isn't to put my faith into anything that will eventually happen (girlfriend, new job, etc), but just to stop complaining about it. I'm sure I'm not going to be Mr. Positive or anything, but I will make an effort to enjoy what I'm doing.
On the job front, every so often I'm getting some calls about opportunities. Hopefully the right match comes along soon. It's not the people I dislike (they're cool), but I need to get out of my situation.
On the job front, every so often I'm getting some calls about opportunities. Hopefully the right match comes along soon. It's not the people I dislike (they're cool), but I need to get out of my situation.
Monday, February 9, 2009
On the Prowl
On the prowl for what? Girls? Of course not. A job. I'm starting to send out my resume via monster.com. We'll see how it goes. I don't really want to have to leave, but I think it would be best. Ideally, I'd like to stay in Chicago, but if I can get a good job in a different city and they'll pay to move, I'd be down.
The rest of my weekend wasn't too eventful. I no longer think the Gym Employee is in a long distance relationship; it's a short distance relationship, as if that changed anything. I finally asked Rachel's name who works at a clothing store. Maybe I 'll trick myself into asking her on a date next weekend. Already sounds like a bad idea.
Do girls ever become more interested when someone they were initially unattracted to asks them on a date? This has never been the situation for me for as long as I can remember. Jane said that there needs to be a good spark between two people in order to get a relationship going. When told this, I thought two things:
1) We won't be dating any time in my life
2) In my 24 years of existence, I've had that once. And it was for about 30 hours. And if it had been any longer, she would have gotten bored with me.
So I guess Jane's advice has a positive and negative side. Sometimes I think I just need to meet more girls, and one of them will be great. The other times (about 90%) I think that I've met a lot of girls so far and have gotten nothing. Maybe it is me.
And that's when I don't know if I should change something about myself or just keep doing the same things. Lately, I've taken so much time to think about it that I avoid approaching girls altogether. I noticed earlier today that it's been about 3 months or so that I've asked anyone out. Think I should?
Friday, February 6, 2009
Now I'm Positive
If I ever had a thought that Donna was at all interested in me, now I would put money on knowing that she isn't. Like the last time we met, she has a way with finishing cordial conversation with an ambiguous phrase. Instead of quickly blurting out "I don't want to hang out" as she did on the pseudo-date we went on, Donna said something to the effect of "Now that that's out of the way..." with either undetectable sarcasm or full-on relief. Her reason for saying that would be rooted in the fact that while she would frequently suggest via text that we should meet up, she never does the inviting. I feel like most of the girls I've met are like this: They're not too interested in dating/being friends, but it's always nice to know that someone out there would like to see them. That statement reminds me of all the girls I tried to date in college.
I've always been someone who was afraid to tell others how I actually think and feel. I'm guessing that this is pretty normal, but I do my best to make it as awkward as possible. For instance, last night I was finishing up the round of bars with Jane. While I'd like to tell her what I think, it would likely be way to weird ("I know you have no interest in me, but i have a crush on you...Oh yeah, I think you're super annoying sometimes"). I don't think that would work out so well. Instead of telling her this, my drunken self let her know the name of the blog. Keep in mind, this was after I had asked Jane if she were at all curious to see it. She basically said no, but like a drunken idiot, I let her know when I walked home. My text came with the preface that she may regret looking at it.
This decision was so bad that that at random times waking up from my drunken stupor I continually thought to myself "horrible decision." As I got up this morning and checked my phone, there was a text from Jane. It simply said that she probably wouldn't look at it. Seems as though someone has more self-control than me. Just in case, I sent a text back mentioning my stupid drunkenness and that she should disregard the last few. Hopefully she follows through.
And if not, please don't be too weirded out. Or at least mention you checked it out and give your response to my one-sided banter.
I've always been someone who was afraid to tell others how I actually think and feel. I'm guessing that this is pretty normal, but I do my best to make it as awkward as possible. For instance, last night I was finishing up the round of bars with Jane. While I'd like to tell her what I think, it would likely be way to weird ("I know you have no interest in me, but i have a crush on you...Oh yeah, I think you're super annoying sometimes"). I don't think that would work out so well. Instead of telling her this, my drunken self let her know the name of the blog. Keep in mind, this was after I had asked Jane if she were at all curious to see it. She basically said no, but like a drunken idiot, I let her know when I walked home. My text came with the preface that she may regret looking at it.
This decision was so bad that that at random times waking up from my drunken stupor I continually thought to myself "horrible decision." As I got up this morning and checked my phone, there was a text from Jane. It simply said that she probably wouldn't look at it. Seems as though someone has more self-control than me. Just in case, I sent a text back mentioning my stupid drunkenness and that she should disregard the last few. Hopefully she follows through.
And if not, please don't be too weirded out. Or at least mention you checked it out and give your response to my one-sided banter.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Weekly Happenings & Bleach Quandaries
Am I the only person out there who doesn't own a single article of clothing that could be bleached? I find that I'd like to get all my whites gleaming, but each article of clothing has some minute color in it. For instance, a perfectly all white t shirt...except for the fact that there is a 1mm x 1mm red cross sewn into the back. Oh well.
Some parts of my job have been pretty good lately (though there are still a large number of menial tasks), so I've cut back on the job hunt. Hopefully I can keep getting difficult work.
Last night I got a random text from a girl (who I'll call Donna) I met on my commute to work a few months ago. It asked to meet for a drink after work today. I thought it was pretty strange because we went on a date together (at least I thought it was), and she wasn't the least bit interested. It wasn't until after we set a time that Donna mentioned that she's bringing her friend. Hopefully the friend will be as good looking as Donna.
A few days ago I sent an email to a girl on Nerve. I'm usually pretty doubtful about dating sites, but I figured I'd give the free trial a try. Her profile sounded like she was looking for some type of hipster, which I had to email that I was not A: hairy-chested or B: capable of growing a waxable mustache (both ideal characteristics of hers). She ended up having a funny/borderline dirty response, and asked about Facebook. So maybe we'll talk on that and see what happens.
As for Jane, I'm not becoming less attracted due to any feigned interest from Donna/interwebs, but I kind of have a problem with how she talks to me sometimes. I know it's not on purpose, because I've mentioned it, but she can sound condescending a lot of the time. Whereas I assume everyone's heard of every little stupid factoid that I know, she assumes I'm completely retarded. For instance, once she told me famous people (Kanye) can make the general public believe they caused the popularization of something (bringing in electronic/80s sounds). As someone who listens to a lot of music/knows worthless knowledge, I'd just like to say "I fucking know how it works."
For some reason, though, the attraction to Jane still lingers, and I find myself trying to be witty or impress her with more of that common knowledge. I should probably quit doing that.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Another Weekend Done
So the weekend more or less started with my train ride home from work with Jane. Besides the fake background we made up for a PDA-enriched pair of 20 year olds (he went off to college, she didn't get in at all), the conversation led to dating, as it often does. Like other people, she suggested I join a dating website. I've considered actually paying for my Nerve account, but I'm not so confident about the luck I'd have. The free account has yet to yield results.
Then I asked a question which I've asked others: Before I try talking to a girl, should I make sure there's eye contact first? I'm not sure what type of answer I'm looking for when I ask this question. Jane said I should look for the eye contact first, though. Then I got depressed. I've definitely tried to follow the "eye contact" rule, but the problem is that girls don't notice me. And I've been trying to notice if they have. They haven't. Girls I've wanted to talk to have walked right past me at bars/parties/carnivals/etc and never looked in my direction. So does that mean that if I were to approach one of these girls, would she automatically be uninterested? I feel like there's a good probability that she wouldn't be. Is this really the case, though? Is it true, and if so, is it worth looking for that 10% chance she's interested?
I'd like to say that If I could just get her to talk to me for 10 minutes or go on a date with her, she would see how charming I am, or whatever. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. I find myself to be somewhat boring, and any funny things I do say are usually self-deprecating. So I'm not so sure that would be the best tactic for me to show off how confident I am.
As for Jane, I still feel attracted to her, but she makes it pretty obvious that she isn't interested. Each weekend, we share our plans (hers are action-packed, mine are open), but she doesn't extend any invitations, as I no longer hint that I'm looking for them. As we separate from each other each Friday, she's the first to say "Have a nice weekend" as opposed to "I hope to see you" or the like. I'm then forced to say the same.
On Saturday, a friend from Milwaukee came to town for a visit and we just killed time. One of our stops was the clothing store with the female employee I've mentioned before. I guess I'll call her Rachel, though I don't know her name, but I hope I get to mention her some time in the future. Her coworker attends my gym, and he said he'd let me know if he's heard anything about her relationship status. I doubt he'll get back to me. Regardless, Rachel looked beautiful with her perfect teeth.
That night I went back to Milwaukee with my friend. Our time out was enjoyable, since I didn't feel any pressure about meeting girls. So, in short, we just got drunk.
So that was pretty much my weekend. There's a good chance yours was better, but you probably didn't have as good chicken wings that I did. I talked to the girl who works at the gym for a while today. She's a very pretty girl with great eyes, but the whole boyfriend thing is a problem. She asked if I wanted to do something on Saturday when I was out of town, but ended up staying in. I'm not sure where this boyfriend is, but I suspect he's long distance now. Too bad for him.
Then I asked a question which I've asked others: Before I try talking to a girl, should I make sure there's eye contact first? I'm not sure what type of answer I'm looking for when I ask this question. Jane said I should look for the eye contact first, though. Then I got depressed. I've definitely tried to follow the "eye contact" rule, but the problem is that girls don't notice me. And I've been trying to notice if they have. They haven't. Girls I've wanted to talk to have walked right past me at bars/parties/carnivals/etc and never looked in my direction. So does that mean that if I were to approach one of these girls, would she automatically be uninterested? I feel like there's a good probability that she wouldn't be. Is this really the case, though? Is it true, and if so, is it worth looking for that 10% chance she's interested?
I'd like to say that If I could just get her to talk to me for 10 minutes or go on a date with her, she would see how charming I am, or whatever. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. I find myself to be somewhat boring, and any funny things I do say are usually self-deprecating. So I'm not so sure that would be the best tactic for me to show off how confident I am.
As for Jane, I still feel attracted to her, but she makes it pretty obvious that she isn't interested. Each weekend, we share our plans (hers are action-packed, mine are open), but she doesn't extend any invitations, as I no longer hint that I'm looking for them. As we separate from each other each Friday, she's the first to say "Have a nice weekend" as opposed to "I hope to see you" or the like. I'm then forced to say the same.
On Saturday, a friend from Milwaukee came to town for a visit and we just killed time. One of our stops was the clothing store with the female employee I've mentioned before. I guess I'll call her Rachel, though I don't know her name, but I hope I get to mention her some time in the future. Her coworker attends my gym, and he said he'd let me know if he's heard anything about her relationship status. I doubt he'll get back to me. Regardless, Rachel looked beautiful with her perfect teeth.
That night I went back to Milwaukee with my friend. Our time out was enjoyable, since I didn't feel any pressure about meeting girls. So, in short, we just got drunk.
So that was pretty much my weekend. There's a good chance yours was better, but you probably didn't have as good chicken wings that I did. I talked to the girl who works at the gym for a while today. She's a very pretty girl with great eyes, but the whole boyfriend thing is a problem. She asked if I wanted to do something on Saturday when I was out of town, but ended up staying in. I'm not sure where this boyfriend is, but I suspect he's long distance now. Too bad for him.
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