Now I'm Positive

If I ever had a thought that Donna was at all interested in me, now I would put money on knowing that she isn't. Like the last time we met, she has a way with finishing cordial conversation with an ambiguous phrase. Instead of quickly blurting out "I don't want to hang out" as she did on the pseudo-date we went on, Donna said something to the effect of "Now that that's out of the way..." with either undetectable sarcasm or full-on relief. Her reason for saying that would be rooted in the fact that while she would frequently suggest via text that we should meet up, she never does the inviting. I feel like most of the girls I've met are like this: They're not too interested in dating/being friends, but it's always nice to know that someone out there would like to see them. That statement reminds me of all the girls I tried to date in college.

I've always been someone who was afraid to tell others how I actually think and feel. I'm guessing that this is pretty normal, but I do my best to make it as awkward as possible. For instance, last night I was finishing up the round of bars with Jane. While I'd like to tell her what I think, it would likely be way to weird ("I know you have no interest in me, but i have a crush on you...Oh yeah, I think you're super annoying sometimes"). I don't think that would work out so well. Instead of telling her this, my drunken self let her know the name of the blog. Keep in mind, this was after I had asked Jane if she were at all curious to see it. She basically said no, but like a drunken idiot, I let her know when I walked home. My text came with the preface that she may regret looking at it.

This decision was so bad that that at random times waking up from my drunken stupor I continually thought to myself "horrible decision." As I got up this morning and checked my phone, there was a text from Jane. It simply said that she probably wouldn't look at it. Seems as though someone has more self-control than me. Just in case, I sent a text back mentioning my stupid drunkenness and that she should disregard the last few. Hopefully she follows through.

And if not, please don't be too weirded out. Or at least mention you checked it out and give your response to my one-sided banter.