This date has taught me a few things.
1) I know why I've been having an awful time with Match.com
2) If you're nervous, don't ask how the date stacks up against other online dates
3) PJ Clarke's has good Margherita Flatbread
So I took the cab over to the art exhibit. Seville was waiting in the corridor. Without any drinks in me, she still looked really good, so that's a plus. The exhibit itself was actually pretty awesome. Some great photography and other paintings were shown, all with price tags out of my range. As we walked around, we talked about what most first dates talk about: School, work, friends, family, etc.
After the show, we decided to grab some food and a drink. I think the best part of the conversation was when we talked about the randomness of Match.com (and therefore any online dating site), and told each other how their gender seems represented. Apparently, most of the guys on the site are sketchy, and there are a ton of them. Seville said that she signed up at about 11pm or so. By morning, she had 35 emails. This wasn't the case for me. So if you're a girl, and you're somewhat thinking about online dating, I vote with a big Yes. You'll actually have options. As a guy, I think it's a big competition, one which I'm losing, to stand out.
The night ended with us splitting the bill, though I tried to get the waitress's attention while Seville was in the bathroom. As we were leaving, I thought that I should hint that I'd like to see her again. Prior to this, I was hoping to say something bold and confident like "When can I see you again?". Instead, all that came out was "I had a really good time tonight. Would you want to go out again sometime? It's okay to say no..." Needless to say, my confidence could use some work. So now I feel like I kind of forced her into saying Yes because it would be super awkward to say No.
Today, I'm trying to make something of the date, which leads us to "The Spark." You know, that feeling when you meet someone and think this person is really awesome and you definitely want to see them again. Well it wasn't there for me, and I'm not sure why. Seville has most of the characteristics I'm looking for, but I didn't feel it. I'm basically hoping that since she seems like a great person, things may fall into place and I'll have a better idea if I like this girl after more than one date.
So how do you think the date went? I give it a B, pretty much all due to me (for it being low). Have you ever had a good dating experience with someone despite the fact that the Spark wasn't initially there?
Dude, confidence is everything in the beginning stages. We want you to be you, and be yourself and make us know what that is.
ReplyDeletePlus... think of how many other guys she can go out with via the internet. Stand out, and stand firm. Most of us think that men are children. We try to root out the boys from the men. Insecurity shows immaturity and you may get tossed aside due to your hesitant nature.
I've kind of decided that I look at things differently than most girls so I don't know if this is the best advice BUT here's my two-sense:
ReplyDeleteIt may be "hopeless romantic"-y or "overly optimistic"-y but I really think that when you meet the important people in your life, it doesn't matter if you're nervous or if you say all the wrong things. The connection is still going to be there. And that's not just in romantic relationships, it's in friendships too. But to me, the two are very closely related. I see a relationship as a really deep friendship.
I've always believed that "the spark" was important but my ideas about it have changed little by little. I don't think of it as like a knock-you-off-your-feet-dazzle-you-with-awesomeness first meeting. To me, it's those moments where you really see a part of someone and feel that emotional connection to them. And it's when those moments start to add up that you start to fall in love.
But I feel like that's jumping way ahead. Basically, I think you need to ask yourself if your mind likes her or if your heart likes her. Ideally it would be both. In my experience, if only my mind likes a guy things don't work out (no matter how much I want them to).
Ending my ridiculously long comment.... NOW!